"We think Eli is taller and handsomer now that he's won the Super Bowl. Imagine what would've happened if [Jaws] won the Super Bowl."

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I lived in San Jose for a little bit, and one of my neighbors was Vietnamese and was teasing me. I said "I've had pho," and then he goes, "Oh, what do you get, the number one big bowl?" I was like, "Come on, man. You don't have to come at me like that." But yeah, I've tried tendon. Tendon eventually yields.

— Adam Richman