"War is the greatest of all crimes; and yet there is no aggressor who does not color his crime with the pretext of justice."

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Women today are the biggest pigs today in history. They are just the dirtiest, nastiest slobs. I don't know how old your chick is, but the truth of the matter is they've become the aggressors. You know? They're upset if you're not balls deep in them by half way through the first date! They think you don't like them.

— Andrew Dice Clay