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— W. Somerset Maugham"The humour of Dostoievsky is the humour of a barloafer who ties a kettle to a dog's tail."
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I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humor doesn't know what he's talking about.
— Jackie Mason
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EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.
— Ambrose Bierce
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