"Throughout my early career, I would write from five to ten in the morning every day before going to my office, a habit that has stayed with me since."

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I guess the reasons against having more children always seem uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life.

— Jim Gaffigan