"Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf."

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According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their city anytime.

— David Letterman