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— Woody Allen"Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!"
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Why do you think people close their eyes when they kiss? Think about it. In the real world, if you saw someone an-inch-and-a-half away, coming at you with their eyes open and their lips puckered, you'd scream. It's alarming.
— Paul Reiser
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Moshe Dayan, who said to Sammy Davis, Jr., That's funny, to me you only look half Jewish. Never got a dinner!
— Red Buttons
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