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— Anthony Jeselnik"I think my friends wife has been banging a black guy. Because they just had a baby. And the baby had a hole in it."
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When you wake up one day and say, "You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again." Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).
— Ray Romano
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I was just surprised when my wife told me we were having a baby. I was like, Wow, that's awesome. You're going to make a great single mom.
— Brian Posehn
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