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— Bob Monkhouse"My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'"
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On the secret to a lasting marrige: One of you has to be sane, and the other one is only allowed to be insanne occasionally. We take turnes on who gets to be wich person
— Christopher Meloni
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
— Groucho Marx
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