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We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
Sep 10, 2025
I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.
In love, women are professionals, men are amateurs.
The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.
Real love is a pilgrimage. It happens when there is no strategy, but it is very rare because most people are strategists.
I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.
If somebody says, "I love you," to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What can anybody reply under such conditions but that which the pistol-holder requires? "I love you, too."
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
The human heart, at whatever age, opens to the heart that opens in return.
When turkeys mate they think of swans.
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
Love loves to love love.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
You can't put a price tag on preparation for a pandemic.
Life tells you to take the elevator, but love tells you to take the stairs.
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be let alone!' There is all the difference.
It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.
It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
The world's tragedy is that men love women, women love children, and children love hamsters.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint the second time.
By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this -- One of you is lying.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
If I eat a huge meal and I can get the girl to rub my belly, I think that's about as romantic as I can think of.
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who notices you.
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
Love is a game that two can play and both win.
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.
"A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears."
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
If it's true that men are such beasts, this must account for the fact that most women are animal lovers.
You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.