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— Christopher Titus"The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?"
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I am so happy, each and every day that I come to set. Some days, I'll be there 12 hours, and it feels like five minutes have gone by.
— Fiona Gubelmann
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I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!
— Jackie Mason
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