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— Jackie Mason"I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!"
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The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?
— Christopher Titus
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I never know what I'm going to wear until five minutes before I go somewhere... I guess I know what I'm comfortable in. I don't know how to describe that, I mean you either put it on and go 'no way' or 'OK, let's go.'
— Kristen Stewart
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