David Letterman Quotes | John Kerry spent the day reading to preschool...

"John Kerry spent the day reading to preschoolers ... and the kids said Kerry actually lacked warmth and failed to articulate a clear message."

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'Shrek 2' made over $120 million during its first week. In a related story, John Kerry asked Shrek to marry him.

— Conan O'Brien

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Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

— Craig Kilborn

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