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"Osama bin Laden has ten look-alikes to fool us Americans. Ten look-alikes, and he's married to five of them."

— David Letterman
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Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said this week there's a good chance we never get bin Laden. bin Laden! We couldn't even get O.J.!

— Jay Leno

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Every day we learn more and more about this wacky Osama bin Laden. He lives in a cave and at one time he was a womanizer. But now he has settled down with his five wives and 26 kids, so that's now all over. ... He also had a drinking problem at one time. I believe he went through 'Jihab'

— David Letterman

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