Demetri Martin Quotes | Fire truck with back end on fire drives reall...

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"Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles."

— Demetri Martin

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The Muslims observe their Sabbath on Friday, the Jews observe on Saturday, and the Christians on Sunday. By the time Monday rolls around God is completely f***in' worn out.

— George Carlin

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I use a lot of humor in my writing. But it's completely black humor.

— Kurt Vile

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