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— Emo Philips"I've always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible."
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The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
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When I heard you could get a disease from playing with your prairie dog, I thought, 'Wow, what a euphemism.' I thought playing with my prairie dog was the best way to avoid diseases.
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