"We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs."

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I, a woman, find wearing high heels agreeable only on the very rare occasion that (1) I will be ferried between destinations upon a palanquin or (2) I am going to a cocktail party and, at five feet two, don't want to spend the evening discussing the latest movies with somebody's nipples.

— Lauren Collins