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— George Carlin"By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
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I don't really consider myself to be a comedian. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting around writing jokes or anything. I just like dressing up and pretending to be other people.
— Amy Sedaris
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I'm not a comedian. I'm what you call a good, old-fashioned working actor who has had delusions of grandeur for my entire career and has known what I want to do.
— Chris Diamantopoulos
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