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— J. B. Smoove"Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night."
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My bank is the worst. They are screwing me. You know what they did to me? They're charging me money for not having enough money. Apparently, when you're broke, that costs money.
— Louis C. K.
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Recently a young journalist came to interview me about what I was doing the day war broke out. During the course of the interview I recounted the deaths of my only brother, my husband's only brother, a brother in law and my four best friends. "So," she said, did the war affect you in any way?
— Deborah Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire
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