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— Deborah Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire"Recently a young journalist came to interview me about what I was doing the day war broke out. During the course of the interview I recounted the deaths of my only brother, my husband's only brother, a brother in law and my four best friends. "So," she said, did the war affect you in any way?"
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Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
— J. B. Smoove
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I didn't want to give up my Illinois driver's license and was unaware that was a crime. It is, by the way, in the state of California. Lesson learned. I technically broke a law, so technically I deserve whatever I get.
— Patrick Stump
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