"As far as Ken Kwapis saying all those things, I think he just really wanted me in the movie so he probably told Warner Brothers, 'Don't worry, Jimmy Stewart? Gary Cooper? Who else do you like?' If they'd said they were huge Chris Farley fans, he's like, 'He can do that, too. He's a huge physical comedian.' But no, that's really nice to hear."

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The key is that I'm always relevant. Some of these comedians have nothing to say. They don't have any ideas so it's "F" this and "F" that. They give you a whole series of swear words and it's really just a way for them to get themselves out of trouble when they can't come up with anything. They're irrelevant and ridiculous.

— Jackie Mason