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— Juicy J"Whatever you do, stay focused. Because any stuff is not going to last forever. Once you get a show at something, you gotta roll with it. You can't sit on your ass. You better keep working. You better stay motivated."
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I like those blow-up beds. "This becomes a full size bed in three minutes!" Well, a mattress kicks your ass. Zero seconds. "Yeah, but you can store this thing." You can store a bed, too - in the bedroom.
— Mitch Hedberg
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THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.
— Larry the Cable Guy
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