"Our kids haven't any airs about them. I don't like posh kids who don't like dirty dolls or expect a chauffeur every time they go out."

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You want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don't stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.

— Lewis Black