"I am a sleeper. When you wake up at 4:30 in the morning to do a workout, you're sleepy at 8 in the evening. By 10 o'clock at the latest, I'm in bed."

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Because we've become so ecologically minded now, they have developed a product called Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper. Just how rapidly are we talking? 'Cause I don't want to have to play Beat the Clock in the thicket.

— Bill Engvall