"I don't drink milk, and I don't eat bread, pasta or rice. But I eat a lot of meat, chicken, fish and salads."

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I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It’s a strange piece of machinery . . . We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And I’ll be damned if I’m not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort.

— Mitch Hedberg