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— Mitch Hedberg"I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, but now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips."
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
— Bill Bailey
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I am not a Jew for Jesus but I am definitely a Jew for Christmas. Christmas is one of the best things you Christians have given us, along with mac and cheese, Bono, croquet and politeness.
— David Brooks
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