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"Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out."

— Noel Fielding
noel fielding Quotes Humor,Couple,Trousers

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My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.

— Anthony Jeselnik

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I hope people leave my show thinking they've had a worthwhile couple of hours. The worst thing you want is for people to think they've wasted their time or didn't get their money's worth.

— Joel Plaskett

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