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— Richard Jeni"Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank."
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
— Rodney Dangerfield
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I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.
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