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— Steven Wright"The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les."
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So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?"
— Tommy Cooper
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I drive him to school, then I break back into Barron's house. I'm the best kind of thief, the kind that leaves behind items equal in value to those he's stolen. Then I go home and shave until my skin is as slick as any slickster's.
— Holly Black
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