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— Tristan Bernard"In the theatre the audience want to be surprised - but by things that they expect."
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
— George Carlin
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
— Mark Twain
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