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— Yakov Smirnoff"I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language."
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For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
— Bill Burr
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Not a time with him passed that I didn't say, "You should've been a comedian." [Vincent Price] was hilarious. He was just such a quick, funny wit. I don't think most people would think that about him, and it was really surprising to me. But man, the guy had a brilliant wit.
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