Anita Blake Quotes

I knew from the moment I heard you, the moment I saw the gun and realized that this lovely, petit woman was the executioner, that you would never die waiting for me to save you - that you would save yourself.

Important safety tip - never look a vampire in the eye.

Death, jewelry, or magic; it sounded like Valentine's Day.

Anything under size five isn't a woman. It's a boy with breasts.

Women may get to wear lots of pretty colors, but men get the comfortable shoes. Anita Blake Vampire Hunter

They be crazier than we are.

I know you can throw holy water on the vampire, but I didn't know you could throw the host." (Sheriff St. John) I had to smile. "They aren't like little holy grenades. I want the host to give to the Quinlans so they can put one at every windowsill, every doorsill." (Anita Blake)

You can't kill us all, human.' He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. 'True, but who's going to be first in line?

I just don't believe in helping people who are going to torture me. Though I don't see any bamboo slivers. How can you possibly torture someone without bamboo slivers?

Sometimes it would be nice not to have to do my best. Sometimes it would just be nice not to have a crisis to deal with. - Anita Blake

Why is everything always my decision?" I asked. Because you will not tolerate anything else." Oh, I remembered now. "Great", I whispered. - Anita to Jean-Claude

I, Anita Blake, scourge of the undead-the human with more vampire kills than any other vampire executioner in the country-was dating a vampire. It was poetically ironic.

One serial killer sends me a human head in a box, and I get all spooked; Go figure.

You look wonderful", Jason said. "No compliments, Jason. I'm uncomfortable enough in the lingerie." "Then by all means take it off.

I try to be a good cop. I try to be a good little soldier and follow orders up to a point. But in the end I’m not really a cop, or a soldier. I am a legally sanctioned murderer. I am the Executioner.

Everyone has their weaknesses. Some people smoke. I collect stuffed penguins. If you won't tell, I won't.

You walk like a duck with a wet diaper on.'' Anita Blake Vampire Hunter

I talk to myself everyone once in a while. Give myself very good advice. Sometimes I even take it.

I sat on the bed. Neither of us said anything. I wasn't slick and sophisticated enough for this. What do you say to boyfriend A when he finds you naked in the bed of boyfriend B? Especially if boyfriend A turned into a monster the night before and ate someone. I bet Miss Manners didn't cover this at all.

I spent the next fifteen minutes convincing a crying werewolf that I wasn’t going to hurt her. My life was getting too strange, even for me.

A person likes to think of himself in a certain way, and when something happens that makes that no longer possible, you mourn the old self. The person you thought you were.

The rich and powerful always seem to prefer the tops of buildings. Hasn't anyone ever explained to them that higher just means you have farther to fall? -- Anita Blake

If the eyes are the window to the soul, then Edward's in trouble 'cause no one is home.

When crime busting is easier than your personal life, something has gone seriously wrong.

Never throw stones if you think they're going to come back and hit you.

I know who and what I am. I am the Executioner, and I don't date vampires. I kill them.

Richard was a riddle with no answer, and I was tired of playing a game I couldn't win.

Some moments are perfect, and then someone comes along and f*cks it up. Ain't it always the way.

Maybe they know what I know, that the true way to a man's heart is six inches of metal between his ribs. Sometimes four inches will do the job, but to be really sure, I like to have six.

Love mattered, in the end. A house without love would always fall, maybe not today or tomorrow, but in the end without love nothing could endure.

One thing I've learned about vampires--they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs if you're not paying attention.

Anyone who tells you size doesn't matter has been seeing too many small knives.

He ordered food with a childlike glee and watched me eat, tasting it as I did. In private he'd roll on his back like a cat, hands pressed to his mouth as if trying to drain every taste. It was the only thing he did that was cute. He was gorgeous, sensual, but rarely cute. - Anita Blake about Jean-Claude

Stupidity isn't punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop.

It's not about winning, Haven. I'm not a prize to be won. I'm not the princess that needs rescuing from the dragon. I'm the prince and I kill my own monsters. You need to be ok with that. -Anita Blake

People are supposed to fear the unknown, but ignorance is bliss when knowledge is so damn frightening.

Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright.

I wasn't crying, my eyes were running. My eyes were running because there were pieces of zombies all over my toys. Jesus.

The true way to a man's heart is six inches of metal between his ribs." You have to love Anita Blake.

Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed.

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

Zebrowski says that if you killed someone else just hide the body, he's not starting over on the paperwork.

There are only two things you can do when you're dressed like Barbie Does Bondage; you can be embarrassed or you can be aggressive. Guess what my choice was.