Funny Football Quotes

I'm as happy as I can be-but I have been happier.

What Carew does with a football, I can do with an orange.

There's no in between-you're either good or bad. We were in between.

Sometimes in football you have to score goals.

I never make predictions and I never will.

My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.

I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.

I spent four indifferent years at Goodison, but they were great years.

I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd

I've found that prayers work best when you have big players.

That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on.

I'd catch a punt naked, in the snow, in Buffalo, for a chance to play in the NFL.

I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.

You've got to believe you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.

I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.

Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.

Yes, I thought I was joining Manchester United, I was misled by all involved. I wasnt aware of another Manchester team

I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.

In my time at Anfield we always said we had the best two teams on Merseyside - Liverpool and Liverpool reserves.

People say I'll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

Terry Bradshaw couldn’t spell ‘cat’ if you spotted him the ‘C’ and the ‘A’.

I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body.

When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.

Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport.

We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now.

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today.

Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.

You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.

I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault.

When it's third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time.

There are two kinds of people in the world, Notre Dame lovers and Notre Dame haters. And, quite frankly, they're both a pain in the ass.

There are two kinds of people in the world, observers and non-observers.

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become.

Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

I'm a firm believer that all sports will eventually be global. Someday, we may have a quarterback from China named Yao Fling.

Maybe a good rule in life is never become too important to do your own laundry.

The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.

Football is easy if you're crazy as hell.

When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.

Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.

When you win, nothing hurts.

You guys line up alphabetically by height.

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.