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"I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money."

— Bob Hope
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If you have a good idea, open your mouth and say something else.

— Keith Johnstone

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I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.

— Danny DeVito

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