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— Jimmy Durante"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
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I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
— Fred Allen
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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
— Elayne Boosler
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