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A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
Sep 17, 2025
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
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