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Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it's a mistake to make a habit out of it.
Sep 10, 2025
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'
I believe our differences are the little pinches of salt that can make the marriage seem more flavorful.
I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.
Everything comes to us from others. To Be is to belong to someone.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.
The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.
Marriage - as its veterans know well - is the continuous process of getting used to things you hadn't expected.
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Nice people don't necessarily fall in love with nice people.
The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.
There comes a time when a man and woman realize that their separate schemes can be better achieved as a conspiracy.
Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion's joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Over everything debatable and combatable Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life Particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
God speaks with authority on every subject including marriage and His advice trumps Oprah's every time.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join.
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
One's fantasy goes for a walk and returns with a bride.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.
One good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are?
One man's folly is another man's wife.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it
A married couple are well suited when both partners usually feel the need for a quarrel at the same time.
If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.