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— Mitch Hedberg"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down."
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
— Andy Borowitz
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When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.
— Rich Hall
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