Dumb Liberal Quotes

We actually have not required in this law that you carry health insurance.

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again

I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

I love these members, they get up and say, 'Read the bill ... What good is reading the bill if it's a thousand pages and you don't have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?'

We know that no one person can succeed unless everybody else succeeds.

A zebra does not change its spots.

Don't fear the terrorists. They're mothers and fathers.

Every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs.

The number one job facing the middle class. And it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: Jobs. J-O-B-S.

Get the hell out of Palestine.

There is no terrorist threat. Yes, there have been horrific acts of terrorism and, yes, there will be acts of terrorism again. But that doesn't mean that there's some kind of massive terrorist threat.

It depends upon what the meaning of the word 'is' is.

When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened.'

Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.

I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

Guess what this liberal would be all about? This liberal will be about socializing...uh, um...Would be about, basically, taking over, and the government running all of your companies.

I've now been in 57 states. I think one left to go.

I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.

Plus they think the hurricane's going to hit (starts laughing) New Orleans about the time they start. The timing, at least it appears now, that it'll be there Monday. That just demonstrates God's on our side

This is a big f...ing deal!

Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, 'Thank God, I'm still alive.' But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.

I think religion is a neurological disorder.

I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less.

If a young fella has an option of having a decent career or joining the army to fight in Iraq, you can bet your life that he would not be in Iraq.

The conventional viewpoint says we need a jobs program and we need to cut welfare. Just the opposite! We need more welfare and fewer jobs.

We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.

Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.

This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

George Bush doesn't care about black people.

Isn't it a little racist to call it Black Friday?

The greatest threat to America is not necessarily a recession or even another terrorist attack. The greatest threat to America is a liberal media bias.

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.

What I don't know is what the unexpected might be.

I even accept for the sake of argument that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you.

Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.

He [Tinky Winky] is purple - the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle - the gay pride symbol.

I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. I've never had an affair with her.

The harsh fact of the matter is when you're passing legislation that will cover 300 million American people in different ways, it takes a long time to do the necessary administrative steps that have to be taken to put the legislation together to control the people.

In Delaware, the largest growth in population is Indian-Americans moving from India. You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking.

You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.

if you get sick, America, the Republican health care plan is this: Die quickly.

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.

I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

Now, they're saying I groped a male staffer. Yes, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday.