Jalapenos Quotes

Asking an eight-year-old girl if something is a little over-the-top is like asking a Texan if there are too many jalapenos in the salsa. The answer is always no." -Liberty Jones

Life is a rush into the unknown. You can duck down & hope nothing hits you, Or stand as tall as you can, show it your teeth & say: "Dish it up, baby, and don't be stingy with the jalapenos." - must be female ;-)

Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeno up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just... (wipes his nose)

Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpecker jokes. My first original character didn't happen until later, and that was Jose the Jalapeno on a Stick.

Chipotles to me are a one-of-a-kind pepper because they're smoked jalapenos, so they're fiery and they're smoky. It's good to use chipotles in salsas or soups or condiments - that works really well. To me, they always really pick up anything you put them in.

I have a zillion bottles of hot sauce. I love Trader Joe's jalapeno. The whole right side of my fridge is filled with hot sauce.

Border agents have now been issued air guns that shoot pepper balls at people coming across the Mexican border. Have they thought this through? Is that going to bother people from Mexico? Pepper balls? Don't these people eat jalapenos? Isn't that like firing meatballs at an Italian guy?

At the end of the day, I love eating duck. It's the best thing you can eat on this earth, especially grilled with jalapenos and cream cheese.

When I think of my Latina side, I imagine family barbecues with carne asada, rice, beans, tortillas and a jalapeno on my plate along with 'Vicente Fernandez' blaring out the speakers. Spicy food. Salsa. Tamales. Family.

The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.

The real secret to guacamole is that you use exactly the elements that you need, which is cilantro, onion, tomato, and jalapenos. And, of course, avocado.