Jerk Quotes

I used to be surprised and even depressed when I met someone I had admired and discovered him or her to be a jerk or, perhaps worse, rather common. Now I half expect this reaction and even find it a little reassuring, maybe even uplifting. Isn't it amazing that somebody like that could produce such and such.

Don’t be friends with jerks.

I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'

I will never grow thick skin, so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me.

What is success anyway? Is success about making the most money? No. Money, for the most part, turns people into jerks.

When I look back on my knee-jerk reactions now, I realize I should have just taken a breath.

Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't.

I was surrounded by jerks. I'm not kidding.

It's tough being an actor making music, because even I have a knee-jerk reaction to that.

People seem to think that you should be willing to speak to them whether they're jerks or not.

It never made sense to me that someone would achieve any kind of success in show business, only to become a jerk.

I don't want to be known as a jerk forever.

I don't like characters that are left being jerks at the end of the movie.

The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative.

Most people assume the fights are going to be the left versus the right, but it always is the reasonable versus the jerks.

My knee-jerk is that it is comedy and, if you watch them all back-to-back, you will gain something and you will lose something.

A person with grace is somebody who's socially graceful or is a classy person, but sometimes you just feel the opposite of that, and you just feel like a jerk and a loser and a weirdo.

Jerk equals narcissist.Narcissists tend to be risk takers. Risk takers happen to do better in general in businesses. So jerk equals narcissist, equals risk taker.

If you come to fame not understanding who you are, it will define who you are. It shouldn't change you. If you're a jerk, you just get to be a bigger jerk. What fame does is magnify who you are and puts that on a platter for the whole world to see.

Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?

Sometimes people change their minds, sometimes they meet someone else, sometimes they get sober, and sometimes he was just a jerk who you're lucky to be rid of.

As soon as you start preaching, nobody wants to hear you because then you're a jerk.

I act like a jerk sometimes.

I've made it a point here that I'm not going to knee-jerk react to anything, and especially before [Donald] Trump is inaugurated.

Donald Trump is not a jerk. He's a friend of ours.

I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.

Why do women go out with jerks? Because jerks ask.

You can't go into the office and be a jerk. You can't yell at your kids or your wife or your husband for no reason. That makes you a terrible person.

I hope I'm an integrous person who cleans up their messes when I've been a jerk.

I think I'm a mama's boy who wanted to be a hockey player, who failed, and had to become a singer. I think that I'm a generous, impatient, kind, jerk.

If I'd had a great level of success early on, who knows how I would have responded. I might have been a complete jerk.

It's music rage, which is like road rage, only more righteous. When you get road rage, a tiny part of you knows you're being a jerk, but when you get music rage, you're carrying out the will of God, and God wants these people dead.

I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.

So what are we supposed to do again, when we hate everything? You stop pretending life is such fun or makes sense. It's often messy and cruel and dull, and we do the best we can. It's unfair, and jerks seem to win. But you fall in love with a few people. Like I love you, Elizabeth. You're the angel God sent me.

Even the jerks earn some of our affection. We can be glad they're gone and yet still mourn the good parts.

Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]

I try not to eat too much fast food but still go for hot wings occasionally. As I get older, I have to pay more attention to my diet. My favorite food is jerk pork.

I had a parakeet that used to fly around the house and crash into these huge mirrors my mother put in. Ever heard of this interior design principle, that a mirror makes it seem like you have an entire other room? What kind of jerk walks up to a mirror and goes, Hey look, there's a whole other room in there. There's a guy that looks just like me in there.

Patriotism can be good or bad. Knee-jerk patriotism can be very bad. I'm patriotic almost to the point of self-consciousness, but I love my country the way I love a friend or a child who I would correct if she was going the wrong way. Who I expect the very best from.

The word relationship best refers to the connection between parasite and host, or shark and remora. It's a biological term. I'd rather be a jerk than a scientist when it comes to love.

Maybe one of the qualities of being a great coach is being [a jerk]. There are quite a few of them around.

The Yogic sages say that all the pain of a human life is caused by words, as is all the joy. We create words to define our experience and those words bring attendant emotions that jerk us around like dogs on a leash. We get seduced by our own mantras (I'm a failure I'm lonely I'm a failure I'm lonely) and we become monuments to them. To stop talking for a while, then, is to attempt to strip away the power of words, to stop choking ourselves with words, to liberate ourselves from our suffocating mantras.

The Dauthless have the wierdest slang. Pansycake, Nose...is there a term for The Candor?" "Of course."Uriah grins."Jerks

If the boss is a jerk, get over it. First of all, don't you think there's a good chance that your boss's boss knows what's going on? If so, just keep your head down and do the work. Usually, if you put in maximum effort and produce excellent results, someone in the company is going to take notice. Either you will get promoted or your jerky boss will get the heave-ho. It happens all the time.

I do what I do for the people who believe in me, not for the jerks who don't.

Let the jerks of the world serve as the perfect example of what you don't want to be. You'll be a heck of a lot happier, and in the long run, there's a chance that other person at work will end up asking what your secret is. Why are you the happy one? In other words, don't let your thoughts think you. Besides, if you're really gonna get pissed, don't waste it on your family, friends, or coworkers, save it for something that really matters.

In life you'll meet a lot of jerks. If they hurt you, tell yourself that it's because they're stupid. That will help keep you from reacting to their cruelty. Because there is nothing worse than bitterness and vengeance... Always keep your dignity and be true to yourself.

Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere.

The white youth of today have begun to react to the fact that the American Way of Life is a fossil of history. What do they care if their old baldheaded and crew-cut elders don't dig their caveman mops? They couldn't care less about the old, stiff-assed honkies who don't like their new dances: Frog, Monkey, Jerk, Swim, Watusi. All they know is that it feels good to swing to way-out body-rhythms instead of dragging across the dance floor like zombies to the dead beat of mind-smothered Mickey Mouse music.

On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.