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— Demetri Martin"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
— Will Rogers
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Sometimes I see a bird fly by and I feel jealous. But then other times I see a bird fly into a closed window and I feel laughing.
— Demetri Martin
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