College Drinking Quotes

College is like a fountain of knowledge - and the students are there to drink

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

I drink to make other people interesting.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.