Alcohol Quotes

Nothing is more often misdiagnosed than our homesickness for Heaven. We think that what we want is sex, drugs, alcohol, a new job, a raise, a doctorate, a spouse, a large-screen television, a new car, a cabin in the woods, a condo in Hawaii. What we really want is the person we were made for, Jesus, and the place we were made for, Heaven. Nothing less can satisfy us.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.

O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!" - Cassio (Act II, Scene iii)

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

Fill with mingled cream and amber, I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber Through the chamber of my brain — Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies Come to life and fade away; What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

I don't trust people who don't use profanity.

One key symptom of alcoholism is that the individual comes to need a drink for every mood-one to calm down, one to perk up, one to celebrate, one to deal with disappointment, and so on.

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams.

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

I am more afraid of King Alcohol than of all the bullets of the enemy.

Alcohol doesn't console, it doesn't fill up anyone's psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God. It doesn't comfort man. On the contrary, it encourages him in his folly, it transports him to the supreme regions where he is master of his own destiny.

When the wine goes in, strange things come out.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.

Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same.

Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover.

Don't trust people who don't laugh. I don't.

I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

A meal without wine is like a day without sun

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.

Islam makes very large claims for itself. In its art, there is a prejudice against representing the human form at all. The prohibition on picturing the prophet - who was only another male mammal - is apparently absolute. So is the prohibition on pork or alcohol or, in some Muslim societies, music or dancing. Very well then, let a good Muslim abstain rigorously from all these. But if he claims the right to make me abstain as well, he offers the clearest possible warning and proof of an aggressive intent.

If you don't know where you're going any road will do

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves would restore us to sanity.