Funny 4th Of July Quotes

In America you can say anything you want - as long as it doesn't have any effect.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

Ladies and gentlemen, god bless America - land of the free, home of the brave.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.

Better to starve free than be a fat slave

Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have either one.

I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

Of the people, by the people, for the people.

Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth.

Liberty is the right to choose. Freedom is the result of the right choice.

There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured with what is right in America.

It is the love of country that has lighted and that keeps glowing the holy fire of patriotism.

Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.

Let freedom never perish in your hands.

Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.

The United States is the only country with a known birthday.

In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.

The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic - have always blown on free men.

Liberty is the breath of life to nations.

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.

Freedom cannot be bestowed - it must be achieved.

For what avail the plough or sail, or land or life, if freedom fail?

We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it.