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This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.
Sep 10, 2025
The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
I never learned anything from a match that I won.
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses...
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.
Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.
May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
Golf is a better game played downhill.
There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.
You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.
The more you play it the less you know about it.
Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.
I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I've played the game for 40 years and I still haven't the slightest idea how to play.
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.
The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.
Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies.
In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.
Golf isn't like other sports where you can take a player out if he's having a bad day. You have to play the whole game.
They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.