Playing Golf Quotes

I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.

If you are really serious about playing golf and playing good golf, stick to the basic fundamentals. Sure, there's going to be a little change here and a change there, but you don't want to make them. You want to stick to the things that you started with, and you learned, and you know how to apply them.

Writing is like playing golf - you have to keep working at your swing.

I have a project at HBO and one at the Family Channel coming that are being looked at. Aside from that I am not doing much more than playing golf and some skiing.

No game designed to be played with the aid of personal servants by right-handed men who can't even bring along their dogs can be entirely good for the soul.

I've been playing golf as long as I've been dancing, since I was 13 or 14. I play off six. I like to get out on a golf course as often as I can.

I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.

The object of golf is not just to win. It is to play like a gentleman, and win.

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realize it.

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.

One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.

Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

Golf is a better game played downhill.

Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

The more you play it the less you know about it.

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I've played the game for 40 years and I still haven't the slightest idea how to play.

Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake.

Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course... the space between your ears.

If I did that, playing golf would drive me crazy.

I do not look back at what might have been. If I did that, playing golf would drive me crazy.

I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play.

Golf is the only sport that a professional can enjoy playing with his friends.

Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies.

It's a torture chamber, if we had to play it every day I don't think I'd be playing golf.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

The moment the average golfer attempts to play from long grass or a bunker or from a difficult lie of any kind, he becomes a digger instead of a swinger.

If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and audibly count his strokes. It would be justifiable homicide if he wound up his pitiable exhibition by applying his niblick to your head.

You don't know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket.

By the time I retire, I will have fought the best. I will have made my money. Maybe I'll be a boxing commentator. I'll go back to school, definitely. I already have a plan. My life's set. I'll be on an island, married, playing golf in the sun. That will be my life.

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

Early in my career when we went to golf tournaments and charity dinners I noticed businessmen and executives would give the players their cards. Well, they're giving you their cards for a reason. I said to my wife, 'All the guys get these cards and then when they get to the parking lot they rip them up or throw them away. It's really weird.' My wife .. said maybe you should just sign a picture and mail it to them. You know, 'Great playing golf with you,' or whatever. So, I did and lo and behold some of those guys I sent pictures to way back then are now CEOs at big companies.

As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it's like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That's what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do.

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

If you got the game, you got the game. That's why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman.

Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf. Basketball players quit, take up golf. Football players quit, take up golf. What are we supposed to take up when we quit?

Golf isn't like other sports where you can take a player out if he's having a bad day. You have to play the whole game.

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.

I always thought of myself as some sort of athlete until I started playing golf a couple years ago.

Golf is the only-est sport. You're completely alone with every conceivable opportunity to defeat yourself. Golf brings out your assets and liabilities as a person. The longer you play, the more certain you are that a man's performance is the outward manifestation of who, in his heart, he really thinks he is.

You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. I like to play in tournaments. There are many great courses around the world that I have never played that are next door to tournaments. I have not played them because I don't play for fun.

You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life.

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is - don't.

I think that (Alister) MacKenzie and I managed to work as a completely sympathetic team. Of course there was never any question that he was the architect and I was the advisor and consultant. No man learns to design a golf course simply by playing golf, no matter how well. But it happened that both of us were extravagant admirers of the Old Course at St Andrews and we both desired as much as possible to simulate seaside conditions insofar as the differences in turf and terrain would allow.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.