Great Drinking Quotes

Meeting Franklin Roosevelt was like opening your first bottle of champagne; knowing him was like drinking it.

The Spirit Awards are great too, they'll say anything because they're not televised. Another great drinking night.

When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.

O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!" - Cassio (Act II, Scene iii)

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

I don't trust people who don't use profanity.

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover.

Don't trust people who don't laugh. I don't.

I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group". Salvation in a can!

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.

If you don't know where you're going any road will do