Getting Laid Quotes

These days most women have jobs that last way too long. A lot of people in New York barely have time to get laid.

We don't like mystery. You like mystery, 'cause it's not a mystery to you; you know when you're gonna get laid.

The reason you often get in comedy is because you're not getting laid.

Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I've been using money.

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

Poetry is much more important than the truth, and, if you don't believe that, try using the two methods to get laid.

I don't think I ever believed in love, not really. Just though it was something James Bond made up, a long time ago, to get laid.

I'll never get laid trying to keep you safe. You're a train wreck on steroids.

I think I get laid less now than I used to, because I’m way more paranoid now.

Teens aren't just interested in getting laid. I won't believe that's all they're interested in. I have four younger sisters and they're sick of being shown how they're supposed to react in bed.

[Oedipa Maas] awoke at last to find herself getting laid.

Religions are maintained by people. People who can't get laid, because sex is the first great earthly pleasure. But if you can't get that, power is a pretty good second one. And that's what religion gives to people. Power. Power is sex for people who can't get or don't want or aren't any good at sex itself.

Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.

I only got into comedy to get laid

I gave you sympathy. *I* want sympathy!" "Are you kidding me? You have the sexiest man on the planet wanting you. You're getting laid regularly. No sympathy for you!

It's the fastest who get paid and it's the fastest who get laid.

The easiest way to get laid by a girl, or get rid of her, is to write a song about her.

Getting laid off was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. But it led to the best results.

I knew I was different. I thought that I might be gay or something because I couldn't identify with any of the guys at all. None of them liked art or music, they just wanted to fight and get laid. It was many years ago but it gave me this real hatred for the average American macho male.

I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.

Any idiot can get laid when they're famous. That's easy. It's getting laid when you're not famous that takes some talent.

And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

Publishing a sophisticated men's magazine seemed to me the best possible way of fulfilling a dream I'd been nurturing ever since I was a teenager: to get laid a lot.

I want to be with you, too,” he said. “I’ll come to your room after dawn.” Qhuinn didn’t want to ask. Had to. “What about Saxton?” “He’s gone on vacation.” Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally. “For how long?” “Just a couple of days.” Too bad. Any chance of an extension…for like a year or two? Maybe forever? “Okay, it’s a—” Qhuinn stopped himself before he finished that with date. There was no sense kidding himself. Saxton was away. Blay wanted to get laid. And Qhuinn was more than willing to supply the male with what he wanted.

Your mind is a your temple, keep it beautiful and free. Don't let an egg get laid in it by something you can't see.

It's easy to get laid when you're rich and famous. When you're broke and unknown, it takes skill.

What’s wrong?” asked Seth, seeing my frown. “That new drummer. Alec. He hit on me earlier, and now he’s moving in on Casey. I think he’s one of those guys who thinks plying girls with liquor is the only way to get laid.” “Wait. I thought I was the only guy who knew that secret.

I think a lot guys get laid pretending to be Shaggy 2 Dope because without his paint he's a lot more unrecognizable. He's not a gimpy gorilla like me.

In fact, every woman I met seemed disposable and replaceable. I was experiencing seducer's paradox: The better a seducer I became, the less I loved women. Success was no longer defined by getting laid or finding a girlfriend, but by how well I performed.

If I don't get laid, I'll sure die trying.

My definition of success is doing what you love. I feel many people do things because they feel they have to, and are hesitant to risk following their passion.

Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?

This whole Christian theology thing is that god came down to experience life through his son. Well, how's he experiencing life if he doesn't get laid? Give me a break. And why would he not get laid, as he created the apparatus in the first place?

You really think all of those indie music dorks go to SXSW every year to check out music? They go there to wear their laminates and act important and try to get laid.

-and nobody’s getting laid!” I practically shouted. “You think I don’t know that?” He shifted his body beneath me, making me painfully aware of something. Two somethings, in fact, one of which was how far up my short skirt was. The other wasn’t my problem. I wriggled, to shimmy my hem down, but his expression perished the thought. When Barrons looks at me like that, it rattles me. Lust, in those ancient, obsidian eyes, offers no trace of humanity. Doesn’t even bother trying.

Most of the artists were trying to make a living, trying to get laid, trying to figure out who they were. They weren't trying to change the world. That's what other people put on them. I knew all those people. I knew them all, intimately and well. Bob Dylan. I would say that Bob Dylan is as interested in money as any person I've known in my life. That's just the truth.

I've always found that word ["hipster"] is used with such disdain, like it's always used by chubby bloggers who aren't getting laid anymore and are bored, and they're just so mad at these young kids for going out and getting wasted and having fun and being fashionable.

The best thing about being famous is that it makes it easier to get laid.

I think it's much more interesting when people say, "I love being famous. I love the attention and getting laid and having people I respect admire me," than when they pretend it hasn't had an effect on them.

If believing absurd falsehoods increase the odds of getting laid or avoiding predators, your brain will believe those falsehoods with all its metaphorical little heart.

for a man of 55 who didn't get laid until he was 23 and not very often until he was 50 I think that I should stay listed via Pacific Telephone until I get as much as the average man has had

In France, older women are considered sensual, and they don't have to mask the lines and wrinkles and erase every sign of their life on earth to be attractive and get laid.

Aspire to be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid.

Not half as much as I’d miss me if you killed me. (He blinked like a girl and leaned against Ash’s shoulder.) Please don’t hurt me, Ash. Please. I don’t want to die while I’m still a virgin. At least let me get laid before you kill me – which according to my mom I can’t do until I’m married and I can’t do that until I finish college. So you have to wait a good ten years before you snuff me. Deal? (Nick)

According to an article on CNN.com, a new study says people who are bad kissers don't get laid. Where are you supposed to learn how to kiss? If you go to Catholic school, it's from your priest; in public school, you learn from your teacher; and some guys learn from their sisters... if their sister is Angelina Jolie.

So that’s what art is, for the artist,” said Crake. “An empty drainpipe. An amplifier. A stab at getting laid.

The sexual revolution transformed the American West: Now even cowboys can get laid.