Redneck Quotes

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

I don’t know any redneck that’s not into fun. That’s their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

I wanted to come through with my own voice and, hopefully, have it affect people. I want people to know that I'm not an Elvis impersonator.

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

I met a redneck on a Grecian isle who did the Goat Dance very well.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

He had fallen out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

When in doubt, figure it out. That's the redneck way.

How is a redneck divorce similar to a tornado? You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

Thomas Sowell is America's foremost public intellectual and for good reason. His work covers almost every subject imaginable- race, economics, Marxism, ethnic groups, immigration patterns, just to name a few. He is persuasive and provocative and always scintillating. I've read all his books and never been even faintly disappointed. Black Rednecks & White Liberals is no exception.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

My mom listened to the Beatles and Elvis, a lot of different types of music.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

For most Northerners, Texas is the home of real men. The cowboys, the rednecks, the outspoken self-made right-wing millionaires strike us as either the best or worst examples of American manliness.... The ideal is not an illusion nor is it contemptible, no matter what damage it may have done. Many people who scorn it in conversation want to submit to it in bed. Those who believe machismo reeks of violence alone choose to forget it once stood for honor as well.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

We live in the country. I'm a redneck. No, ha-ha. I live in L.A. County, but more in the hills. Not in the fancy kind! Trust me; whatever you do you do not want to come to my neighborhood!

First time I saw Elvis was at the Lubbock County fairgrounds in Lubbock, Texas. He was on the back end of a truck. There was about 1500 screaming kids.

In Georgia, rednecks are just wolves in wolf clothing. In Detroit, you don't know who's a redneck until you go home and meet their parents.

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.

I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would say, "Foxworthy, you ain't nothing but a redneck from Georgia!" It kind of became a formula joke.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

I didn't have a lot of communication with Elvis. You had to go through a barricade to get to Elvis. It was people hanging on every word, and I felt very uncomfortable a lot of times.

Elvis Costello had a brand new bag. He was a musician, but he knew all about the attitude part of it.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

I'm against gun control. It's not that I like guns, it's just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other's heads off.

The album is a definite departure. I haven't written original material before, except for one song on my first album, but Elvis and I did six songs together on this one.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

Before, I was terrified on stage. I only play guitar during the acoustic songs. After a while, you can elicit certain responses from the crowd, like Elvis.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.