You Might Be A Redneck If Quotes

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.